A Day In the Life
by Tenken132
Summary: Little One-shot series of antics including catnip, a Japanese body pillow, dozens of mangled alarm clocks, and more! Will update as ideas flow. AU where Volume 3 never happened. Suggestions accepted!
1. Chapter 1: The Alarm Clock

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! CHA-BANG! "Well, there goes the fiftieth alarm clock this semester," Blake mentioned, looking up from her book with a slightly amused expression. The team had tried to turn a new leaf this semester, trying to wake up early enough for a short one-hour workout, but Ruby's insistence on shooting the alarm clocks with Crescent Rose instead of actually waking up to it had proven to be an expensive, not to mention dangerous indicator that this wasn't working. The Faunus broke away from her book just long enough to put yet another tally mark on the piece of old notes, which contained doodles, bets, notes to teammates, but, surprisingly, no notes.

"Whose turn is it to dish out the lien this time?" Blake asked after waking Yang (Yang could sleep through a hurricane, making night missions slightly more difficult).

"Well, my allowance is almost spent, so no taker here," Weiss stated haughtily, to everyone's surprise. She almost always paid for whatever Ruby broke. Then again, a hyperactive teen with a massive scythe/fully-customizable high-impact sniper rifle who was not, surprisingly, a morning person caused enough damage before her morning coffee to rival Nora.

"Urgh…." came the reply from under the bedsheets of the suspended bed above Weiss. The remaining members of team RWBY knew this was NOT an acceptance of the cost, but quickly took it as so.

 **2 hours later**

Team JNPR was still in the process of waking when they heard what sounded like machine-gun fire on their door. "Wake up! You'll be late for class!" they heard from the hall before seeing a rose petal get swept under the door from the ensuing breeze as Ruby Rose activated her Semblance, rushing down the halls, already late for her Dust Studies class.

"Doesn't she realize it's Saturday?" the quiet ninja, Ren asked.

"PANCAKES!" Nora replied, obviously still in a dream.


	2. Chapter 2: The Package

_Knock! Knock!_ "Package!" Cardin stated before continuing his rounds. After his parents learned of the incessant bullying of a certain Faunus and the son of a line of heroes, they cut off his funding. Now the poor Winchester boy had to run delivery for all of Beacon just to raise the money to go there.

"Thanks, Cardin!" came the reply from inside the dorm, coming from the mouth of a certain red-haired team leader, who was finishing up her "Studying" (it was a batch of homemade chocolate-chip cookies, not something else, you pervert).

As soon as he left, Ruby was faced with a dilemma: she hadn't ordered anything recently, and she hadn't seen any of her teammates, either. "Maybe it's that catnip Yang was planning to prank Blake with," Ruby thought aloud as she placed the unmarked box in the center of the room. The box was large, so Ruby dismissed the idea as it came up. "It wouldn't be that big, so… WHAT IS IT?"

Unfolding Crescent Rose, she deftly cut the tape holding the box closed, to find… A DAKIMAKURA?! OF HER?! 'Who could possibly have ordered this? I must find out! Could it be Blake? No… she seems intent on someone else… Weiss? Definitely not. She even called me a dolt the VERY FIRST DAY of school, so she's out of the question… Yang? No, she's my sister; she wouldn't even think about it. She protects me from everybody else, so no.'

"WHO BOUGHT YOU?!" Ruby bellowed, brining Crescent Rose into sniper mode and aiming at the dakimakura's cute head.

 **A couple hours later, after team RWBY congregated in their dorm after classes, gearing up for bed**

"Okay, who bought this?" stated Ruby as she pulled the dakimakura of her from under the bed. Weiss looked appalled, Blake looked…herself, and Yang glared.

"Ya better fess up quickly or my fist will connect with your face faster than Ruby when she's late for class." Yang growled, a red glint starting to show in her eyes.

"Not me, of course," The Ice Queen stated, well… _icily_.

"Nuh-uh. No offense, Ruby, but you're not my type," stated Blake, not looking up from her book.

"Well, unless it was a prank, somebody must've bought this. I highly doubt this is a prank, as we both well know what happened to the last prankster to set their sights on Ruby. Anyone else follows suit." Yang stated evenly, as the color of her eyes faded back to lilac. Collective winces were shared as they recalled the poor boy. He couldn't walk for weeks, as Yang took one of Nora's favorite activities, breaking legs, out for a spin.

"I-I d-didn't d-do it," Weiss stammered out, severely distressed at Yang's threat of the Nora Treatment.

Even Blake, the champion of even expressions, was visibly disturbed by Yang's ultimatum. "N-no," Blake got out, finally.

The red glint was back. And was getting worse. The room, which had started out at the chilly temperature of 60 degrees (Fahrenheit) (Weiss demanded this, as it was closer to the average inside temperature in Atlas), was pushing 90 degrees in the minutes it took for this conversation to occur.

A red blur, followed by rose petals, rushed over to her sister. As soon as she reached Yang, Yang let out a sigh, counting to 10 in her mind, calming herself down as well as the room.

"It's okay, Yang. I'm not mad. See?" Ruby calmingly said, making a silly face.

Yang could not handle it after that silly face. She finally smiled. "I'm calm now, but, seriously, who bought the pillow?"

Maniacal laughter permeated the halls, originating from a certain green team's door.

"NORA!" Yang roared as she burst into flames from her Semblance, punching both team RWBY's and JNPR's doors into kindling.

Nora laughed nervously. "It was only a joke, okay?" That didn't calm Yang down one bit.

Suddenly, a sickening crunch followed by Ren's screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" brought team RWBY to call Glynda and the infirmary, simply stating that Nora would be residing there for a while. Ruby dashed out of the room for Yang, leaping over the decimated doors, grabbing Yang, calming her.

"Was that really necessary, Yang?"

"Yes," was her only reply.

 **A/N:** I could have continued with this, making a White Rose ending, but I decided that shipping's not my thing. So, I gave the Nora ending. Will possibly make an alternate end if that's your thing.


	3. Chapter 3: The Catnip Cat-astrophe

**A/N: Don't expect these to come in any sort of schedule. I write as time/ideas permit, so don't hate me, please!**

Blake was feeling weird. Like really weird. She wasn't looking to hot, either. Her pupils were narrowed down to near-slits, similar to a cat's, and her ears were feeling extremely itchy. Taking off her bow didn't help, either. Ever since she got back from breakfast, she started to feel under the weather.

"Feeling okay, kitty cat?" Yang asked, clearly noting her partner's state.

"Yeah, Yang, just feeling a little sick today," Blake responded unconvincingly. "Also, how many times have I told you to sop with the cat nicknames?"

 **The Previous Night**

"Yes, yes, good! This will make the perfect prank!" A voice whispered, holding a little bag of green leaves, slightly spear-shaped and similar-looking to mint leaves. "Now all that needs to happen is for me to mix this in her tea bags!"

 **Present**

Blake thought for a moment, then realized something: her tea leaves looked… off this morning. "Yang!" Blake said, accusingly, well, as accusingly as she could, given her condition.

"Yes, Blake?"

"Did you mix something in my tea this morning?"

"Why, why would you blame me? I don't even like tea!"

"Did you?"

"No," Yang stated, with as straight of a face as she could, given Blake had begun to growl akin to a cat.

"What's wrong, pussycat, Blake got your tongue? Or was it the catnip?"

Blake only growled. "Of course you would put catnip in my tea!"

"Why, it was only an experiment!"

Blake was up there in an instant, showing Yang her eyes. "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE I AM ENJOYING THIS?!"

"Mrow, the cat has claws!"

"Yang, if you do not stop with the cat jokes and the cat toys, I will cut your hair."

"Cmon, it was only light fun! No need to get your claws in a twist," Yang replied, starting to scratch Blake's ears, receiving a strange sound from Blake. It was… purring.

"Ohh… don't stop that… That feels amazing," Blake purred as her ears magically began to stop itching.

 _Click!_ The sound of a picture being taken from a scroll nearly jumped the last half of team RWBY out of their skins. "You are never going to hear the end of this, big sis!"

"And neither will you, Blake," an amused heiress stated, happy to have "blakemail" on the Brawler and the Faunus.


End file.
